Taste of failure

I delivered the last shot.

And just like that, 2021 season came to an end

I just missed the TV finals

I filled out the ball sheet

Signed the paper

Probably looked quite collected

But I was so broke on the inside

I went to the toilet and didn’t leave for what felt like a lifetime, but it was probably 10min

I couldn’t get myself together.

I needed to pack my balls, change my shoes, give interview to Bowlers Journal, tell them I feel like shit without saying I feel like shit.

But I couldn’t, I couldn’t move.

With a heart in my throat I couldn’t get pass the overwhelming feeling that this is it.

the tour is over for this year

And I missed the TV finals because I missed spares.

Maybe I make it sound like it was the end of the world but for that short moment- for me it was.

Because I failed myself.

I got myself in the position to be in the finals but the very last game, I just gave it away.

I was stuck in my own head unable to shake it off, no motivational quote, no friend hug, no call could make it better.

And that’s what many athletes have to experience. This dark moments, the heartbreaks, everything that you don’t see when you look at someone raising the trophy above their head on Tv.

You don’t see them crying in the toilet.

Much love,

daria

photo: Kimberly Power